The client

A few weeks ago I had a massage client, as I said previously on my last blog post I work as a naked massage therapist but rarely feel any attraction to my clients, on this night I had one client who I started to massage and who made me feel quite turned on, the chat wasnt as easy as it is with most

clients but I certainly felt a fair bit of chemistry, I think it was the way that he was respectful not to touch me, or the way he held my wrist that little bit harder when giving him the happy ending telling me to ease off, it wasn't hard in the sense of him wanting to hurt me, I just could tell he liked it rough, and that made my mind spin abit. But I was very professional, nothing happened. I forgot about him until about a month ago he revisited, this time it was the evening time and my husband was downstairs, my client knew this as I prewarn clients so they can have the coice weather they are happy with this or not.

The massage kicked off just as the last one did, naked, long sweeping motions, but it soon became apparent that I felt the same buz, but I was starting to panic as hubby was down stairs. I turned him over way to soon, at about 15 mins inn, and a started to kiss him, I didn't know if he would kiss me back but he did and I hungrily returned his kiss, I hadn't kissed anybody since before I was married and I thought it would feel weirder for me but it didn't. From that first kiss I was totally in the moment, which is so weird for me because as much as I enjoy the moment with hubby I sometimes drift off to think about other things. As he started to kiss me, I gathered quite quickly that he liked it rough, something again my husband just does not enjoy, he grabbed my hair and obscenely thrust his fingers in my pussy, something I have never let a man do quite as roughly, it felt dirty and steamy, I was only focusing on the feelings he was giving me and second to that how not to make a sound! The next 30 mutinies were spent basically very intensely and roughly engaging in very hot forplay, it was amazing! Once he had climaxed we went to shower and again he was very rough in pushing me upto the cubical and kissing, grinding, and making me feel very week at the knees, I have never had a man hold as much force on me before, and im not entirely sure weather it was too much force, holding my thoat until my eyes stung and holding my wrists so I had no control this guy wanted me. After a while I had to end the steamy shower or I would have lost it and let him fuck me...i can not explain how electric it was. Once it was done I returned to hubby like nothing had happened and got on with my night. But I defiantly know I would be inviting him over for something more than a massage soon.

At this point I still had yet to have sex with anybody since my marriage, but the excitement and possibility of this made (and makes) my tummy flip. I have met up with him since 3 times and I will document them here soon, i promise. 

Love 

Louisa x

The decision x

Today I sat down in my nice house, with my fluffy cat next to me, and something occurred to me, I am bored. Am I bored with my husband? Hes perfect why would I be? Am I bored with my job? Well once you know more about me you will know that that is impossible. I don't have children, and I go on 6 holidays a year, I am not rich, far from it, but I don't have any money worries either due my job not his. My husband buys me flowers, and makes me feel loved. I work in a job where I am objectified by men and this makes me feel like I have ok self esteme, I am not blonde or 6ft 7 and I am a larger girl but this kind of works for me, I am comfortable and confident in my own skin and this makes me feel sexy and sassy. But with all of my finer things in life I am still bored.

I read an article a year back explaining why so many people get a divorce, apparently it is because people that have been married for a long time have lower happiness or satisfaction expectations than those that have more relationships and have been divorced. My husbands parents have been married over 30 years, and so had there parents, so you can guess my husbands expectations are pretty low. My dad has been married for 15 years (all be it to a woman literally as dull as dishwater) and my mum was married for just a year to my former stepfather, she largely has just been single for most of the 90s and beyond, my brother the has had a few relationships but no more than 2 years or so, so I guess thats where my high expectations are from.

I wouldn't consider myself to have high expectations, but on paper you will see that I am 28 and have been with hubby for less than 5 years and 3 of those we were married, on paper you will also see I was in a relationship from age 17 to 20ish and then springboard (overlapped) from that relationship to one until I was 22 and then was single until I was 24, so only 2 years of my adult life have I spent atcualy single, I didn't like it, I hated it in fact! The whole dating scene had changed since I was 17 and and there were words I did not understand, like exclusive, dating and friend zone – we had changed into Americans while I was being betty crocker.

So when I met hubby though friends, a shy, quite man with potential I went on a few dates with him, and when he got down on one knee I accepted, he loved me, he adored me, to him, I was the one! I didn't want to hurt him, I loved him, I still do a lot, but by the time I had gotten swept up in wedding planning and dress shopping any doubts I had had were coverd in confetti, and by the time I had gotten to sit down and wonder if he was the man for me, it was the night before my wedding. As I said earlier, I am not American, I am from the uk and I am yet to meet anybody who has not stared in a movie that has spent 17k on a wedding and ran out on it, I mean it just does not happen to people we know, so I married him, I was happy, it was a great day, and fantastic things have happened, I have changed carers into a successful field, we have brought and sold 2 houses, and we have a great network of family. I guess now would be the time to have children, maybe that's why so many married people have them, they have just ran out of things to talk about and the last resort is to just have kids and focus on something or somebody elce. I don't want kids and never have, hes ok with that, I hope.

So here I am, happy with my husband and bored with life. So I have decided to take a bold step, I am going to start having sex with other men to save my marriage. I have decided to document it on this blog, not because I am a slut, a bad wife, or attention seeker, but because I cant exactly tell my friends can I??? Does my husband know? Well he is no idiot, so he might know, but as I said, I work in an industry where its not unheard of me to be naked with other men, (im not a hooker) so the lines of monogamy are somewhat blured here. So here I will take you through the good, the bad and the darn right dirty, because If I dont do this, I know I will fold on this perfectly good marriage, but if I do, if I do something that society sees something that men can do but women not, what will happen?

Well hopefully I wont be bored anymore

I hope to to see you in the next blog post,

Love

Louisa x